Gaslighting 101: The Ministry of Misinformation: The Judas Circle.
SERIES INTRODUCTION: Reflections on Adult Safety, Betrayal, and the Quiet Dangers Hidden in the Name of Care
Thinking Out Loud | New Beginnings Impact Journal
Why This Story Must Be Told
In every society, there are stories that are too uncomfortable to speak, and too dangerous to remain silent about.
This account is one of such.
AND THIS IS A TRUE STORY...
It happened to a 64 year old friend.
A retired, male, Engineer.
When 64 year old friend, Engr. Tony, disappeared, most people assumed it was a mental health episode.
In fact, they were told, and encouraged to believe it was a mental decline issue.
And many bought that spin.
But few dared to ask the questions about "who made the call, who held the keys, and who wrote the script?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This docu-drama series is not just about one man's 28-day disappearance.
It is about all the men and women, especially seniors, who have been:
1. Locked away without their consent.
2. Stripped of their voice through. legal manipulation.
3. Gaslighted by friends and family.
4. Silenced in the name of “care.”
5. Betrayed under the banner of “help."
And in some cases… never came back. Never were rescued. Never could escape.
This series is for them too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For 28 days, our friend vanished.
No goodbye. No warning. Just gone.
The silence that followed was not empty. It was engineered.
And those who held the truth, held unto it, very tightly, even in groups they jointly shared with Tony.
My own father suffered something similar in his older years.
He was trapped in systems that called themselves “care” but felt more like prisons.
I watched helplessly as decisions were made around him, not with him.
This is personal.
Too many elders are treated like burdens, not beings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my late father's case people (some "caring family") had phoned me to ask my permission for medication to ease his pain.
Some of that pain, they had caused.
I refused because palliative care has a purpose, and it should work in care.
But, they were in a hurry.
They said he's in "horrible pain."
I consulted many medical doctor friends for advice.
"Tell the doctors to Stabilise him!" was the advice.
Old age is not a pain.
It is a process right from birth.
In the end, they banded together.
Took the decision to preserve life-till-death, right out of my hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dad died at the hands of people who prided themselves as his carers.
He was removed and forcefully discharged from the safety of a private hospital.
The 80 year old sat for almost 24 hours in the lonely corridors of a State University Teaching Hospital.
Attached to his catheter and drip.
No food. No medication.
No change of cables or fluids.
I dare say, no change of private protective clothing.
They were "waiting for a bed."
The bed we paid for, in the private hospital was no longer good enough.
They had decided together, that this State hospital was the best facility.
My plea, severally, to leave him in the private hospital, fell on deaf ears.
When night came, they all left him there.
Alone, in the dark, cold, and lonely corridors of an understaffed hospital.
Far from his big house.
Far from the warmth of his bed.
Removed from private care.
Denied basic love.
Left, without compassion or care.
They all went home to sleep.
Some slept in his house that night.
Everyone left him in that corridor.
They all turned off their phones.
Including their drivers.
Noone could be reached.
Hospital got him a bed next morning.
As his body rested, his heart did too.
Dad died mid-morning that same day.
June 12, 2016. "An old man" at 80.
Old age is sometimes victimised. Labelled. Treated with disdain.
But we will all get there if destiny allows it.
Seniors are scorned by people who have given up on life on behalf of the senior person.
In Tony's case, some asked me, severally.
"WHAT IS YOUR INTEREST IN THIS CASE?"
Dad too, was an Engineer.
Retired as Director in the civil service.
The actions of those who claimed to "care" broke his spirit before his body gave up.
They too, said they cared.
We now know it was control.
And the scramble for possessions.
I will never forget, even if I forgive.
The trauma of being helpless to defend my old man, remains, like yesterday.
As a "Designated Safeguarding Lead" under EU healthcare laws, the Duty of Care falls on me, and on EVERYONE around the care of a Vulnerable Adult or Children.
We have the training and powers to identify various forms of Abuse, (overt and covert), and the sacrosanct duty to identify and to torchlight instances (including perceived instances) of abuse, and to report under the "See Something, Say Something!," process.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🚨 Why This Story Must Be Told.
This 8-part series is based on true events, that played out like drama, in broad daylight, right under our very noses, as Tony's friends were misinformed, some were gaslighted, and everyone sent generally, from pillar to post, in several wrong directions, to ensure Tony's location, and the grand deception to cover their tracks, was not easily uncovered.
It has been carefully crafted to:
1. Expose manipulation masked as love.
2. Hold family members and healthcare systems to much greater accountability.
3. Spark serious dialogue on adult safety and safeguarding.
4. Document what happens when good people look the other way.
5. Offer comfort, clarity, and courage to others who have suffered in silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🎯 The Strategic goal:
To expose, reflect, educate, and ignite dialogue around adult safeguarding and emotional gaslighting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🧠 This is More Than Just Tony
Tony's story is symbolic of a global problem... from Nigeria to the UK, from Ireland to the US:
1. Seniors being declared "incompetent" without due process.
2. Mental health systems used as tools of punishment, not healing.
3. Friends and siblings who quietly collude, then publicly pretend to care.
It’s about the abuse of trust.
The exploitation of age.
The weaponization of silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✊🏾 What This Series Calls For:
Let’s be clear... Silence is not always neutral.
In safeguarding matters, silence can be violence. And “well-meaning friends” can become the greatest threat to vulnerable adults when they decide what’s best without consent or transparency.
We are not here to entertain.
This series is not about gossip.
We are here to provoke:
✔ Public education....
On how mental health systems can be misused in the diaspora and at home.
✔ Legal reforms....
To ensure no adult is institutionalized without transparent, external, and ethical review.
✔ Safeguarding protocols...
To protect, not just children, but older adults who are often too proud or too isolated to cry out for help.
✔ Family accountability...
So that care is no longer a cover for cruelty, control, or cash grabs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
💬 Why Your Voice Matters
If you have ever:
1. Been silenced in the name of love.
2. Been locked up because someone "meant well."
3. Lost someone who never "truly came back" after being “cared for.”
4. Or, you simply believe in justice, accountability, and truth…
This series is for you.
Let us honor those who have suffered by refusing to stay silent.
> Because some disappearances are not by choice.
And some caretakers are not what they claim to be.
Have you ever witnessed a senior in tears? Or, refusing to speak?
Take them out on a drive, alone, away from the "care" givers claiming "love."
Listen to their concerns, when away from "care givers" and those who "love" them
Leave your comments below.
We'd love to know your experiences.
Let's join hands to care for our elderly.
We all are slowly getting old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE:
These 8-Docu-Drama series are based on personal reflections of the traumatic incident of Tony's disappearance.
Verifiable sources and records are available.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🖊️ Dr. Yinka Dixon
PhD (Hon), CIPM, MPM, PME
(Designated Safeguarding Lead). Queen of New Beginnings
Public Interest Journalist
Founder: New Beginnings Impact Journal
Founder, New Beginnings Impact Network Ltd.
Adult Safety, Gaslighting, Safeguarding, Elder Abuse, Trauma, Real-Life Stories
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
📌 Follow the series using our hashtags:
#AdultSafety #SafeguardingMatters #JudasCircle #Gaslighting101 #28DaysOfSilence #NewBeginningsImpactJournal
